At best a dispute is a distraction and at worst it has an overwhelming and debilitating impact upon physical and mental wellbeing. Most people find themselves moving somewhere in the middle of these two depending upon their changing circumstances.
The importance of managing our mental health is now widely known. When considering conflict alongside the World Health Organisation’s definitions of wellbeing, it is hardly surprising that our health overall can be impacted when in dispute: –
“Mental health is determined by a range of socioeconomic, biological and environmental factors.
Mental health is a state of well-being in which an individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and is able to make a contribution to his or her community.
Mental health is fundamental to our collective and individual ability as humans to think, emote, interact with each other, earn a living and enjoy life.” (WHO)
A good place to start is first acknowledging that, consciously or subconsciously, disputes can challenge wellbeing and managing your state during a mediation is going to help you keep moving forward towards solutions.
My earlier Blog on Preparing for a Mediation | Sarah Canning provides an outline of steps that can be taken to put you in the best possible position for mediating on the day. Being ready and prepared with the information and people to support you through the mediation process provides a great foundation.
During the mediation, the mediator will ensure that you are as comfortable as possible and have the space and time you need to communicate your views and make decisions about the future.
It is helpful to share how you are feeling as this will assist the mediator facilitate the mediation process in a way that provides you with the best opportunity to settle the dispute.
Other things to consider: –
- Indicate to the mediator if you have any concerns about meeting or seeing the other party(ies)
- Take regular breaks during the mediation
- If you are unclear about any part of the mediation process or what is happening, ask for clarification
- Go outside for a walk
- Keep refreshed with food and non-alcoholic drinks
- Move around the mediation room rather than staying seated during sessions with the mediator and when the mediator is with the other party in their private session
- Write down your thoughts and concerns so you can go through them and cross them off when dealt with
- If a flip chart or board is available, ask the mediator to write the issues to be addressed on the board if it is not being used and you would find it useful
- If a day’s mediation is too long, ask for the mediation to be moved to half days
- Many mediations will start around 9.30a.m. If you find mornings difficult, ask for the mediation to start at a time that is better for you
- Have someone with you who knows you well as support – having access to your support network can be helpful. Speak with the mediator if your support is not with you at the mediation as mediation process and discussions are confidential and the mediator can take steps to ensure that the process itself is protected whilst you have the support you need
- If possible, have a lawyer present to provide you with on-the-spot legal advice.
- Know that it is OK to express how you are feeling
- Speak with your GP or professional adviser about strategies to manage your wellbeing during the process if you are concerned
Mediation condenses into a day a litigation process that can take years. There are many benefits therefore in opting for mediation as opposed to going to Court. It does not however promise be an easy day, but it will provide you with the opportunity to focus upon the issues that are important to you and provide you with a space to explore the options available without going to Court.
With 75% of mediations resulting in a settlement, it is worthwhile investing in mediation to settle your dispute and, in doing so, utilise the above steps to manage your wellbeing during the mediation process.
For information on mental health and wellbeing, see MIND, the mental health charity which can be find on this link Home – Mind
